Once upon a time...

Mathew Buck (aka Film Brain) reviews "The Avengers" after seeing an early UK release of the film. This review is SPOILER FREE for those who are interested.

FB: "What Joss Whedon has created here is possibly one of the best superhero films ever made. He has delivered everything you possibly could have wanted from this massive crossover. It is a Masters class in audience gratification, and you can tell in every single frame of this movie that he knows the characters, knows their personalities, and knows how to handle them. Considering the amount of characters here and the amount of backstory here in the Marvel film continuity, the fact that Whedon not only successfully performs the balancing act but manages to make it look easy is quite an accomplishment."

And yet Whedon can't or doesn't want to handle his own creations anymore. How ironically tragic or tragically ironic (which is just the kind of thing Whedon likes). Despite good reviews, I stand by my earlier pledge not to see this film in the theatre or to any way, shape, or form give Joss Whedon any more of my money or to add to the box office. I might see the film at some point in the distant future (though I have stuck to my pledge to never watch "Titanic," "Pearl Harbor," or "Wedding Crashers," and I haven't, thank God), but I will not be paying for it (no, I will not be pirating it). I'd rather give my money to someone who hasn't spat upon everything that I once liked about them. That's why I spent money to buy a new G. R. R. Martin book and Season One of Game of Thrones, but I did not spend money to see "Cabin in the Woods" or "Star Wars: Episode I" in 3D. And it's also why, in the future, I will be buying J. K. Rowling's new book to give her a chance outside of Harry Potter. George Lucas and Joss Whedon are on my "To Don't" list until a miracle happens and I actually like something that they do with characters that actually belong to them.

Since I refuse to financially support any of Joss Whedon's endeavors in any form or fashion, I will not be seeing Cabin in the Woods (and not just because he thinks that making a film that is "clever" can deter from the fact that he is making the type of film he claims to hate-- I don't care if he wants to subvert shit. It's still that "I know you that you know that I know" BS that continues in beer and men's fragrance commercials). Red Letter Media's Half in the Bag: Cabin in the Woods Review. There are spoilers in this review, but I've kept them out of the quotes below. Overall, they liked the film, but they also had some criticisms. I will share my personal favourites:

Jay: "If you think you've seen this premise before... you have. A billion goddamn times, but CITW is aware of that..."
Mike: "It was pretty good... It has this weird-ass premise, and that was both a working point for me and also the detriment at the same time... It comes off as one of those ideas you come up with when you're smoking pot or when you're drunk or something and that you wouldn't actually make... I liked it... but there's that little voice in my brain saying, like, 'What?' ... I appreciate the sort of sarcastic way it opened, and I appreciated that kind of up-front-ness, but it deflated most of the movie for me in terms of building the tension and building everything up in the mystery... I was like, 'Oh, okay, I get the premise.'
Jay: "... Joss Whedon has a tendency to write things that are clever to a detriment... You know you're watching a Joss Whedon-related project when all the characters have a funny quip or are a little too flippant given the gravity of the situation. That seems to be a running thing with his projects... [CITW] worked better as a comedy than as a horror movie."

And Jay and Mike sum up all of S8 and S9 without realizing it:
Jay: "Well, there's a lot of stuff, in the movie, that is either not explained properly or doesn't make a whole lot of sense when you really think about it and break it down."
Mike: "... It didn't make a lick of sense... Why do they have to do the whole 'horror movie' thing? Why do they have to make choices?... [Redacted for spoilers] is a cool idea, but it doesn't exactly fit with- It's like two puzzle pieces that kind of fit if you kinda jam them together... It does come across as an idea that two guys thought of while they were smoking pot, and then when their brains cleared, 'Fuck it! Let's just make it!'"
Jay: "... You can almost appreciate this level of commitment to an idea that is just that goofy."

Not content in ensuring that Buffy and Angel made it into space, there's a slight possibility that Whedon may ruin the Avengers movie by throwing a few characters out there as well- via some scans on Scans_Daily on Dreamwidth. *pray that there will be no more space-porking*

This isn't my full review. I don't know if I'm capable of reviewing the issue with any kind of fervor, but these are just my preliminary thoughts on the matter.

( Click here to continue. )

Dear Joss,
I hate you. I hate you, you pompous arrogant douchebag. You want the MPAA to take away Captivity's rating (Check out the story at this site)? You call it "torture porn." Let me tell you, sir, you are no man to judge what is "torture porn." Season Six of Buffy is what I would classify as "torture porn." You take one of your character (who, at the beginning of Season Six, was one of your most "female" characters), degenerate him into a helpless sexual pawn who is willing to be used again and again, and let him be beaten nearly to a bloody pulp in an alleyway trying to save the woman he loved from making the biggest mistake of her life. You let him be sexually assaulted TWICE ("Smashed" and "Gone") and verbally abused by almost every other character. THEN, you decide that since your main character is losing popularity and you want to garner sympathy for her, you make her the ultimate victim, almost raped by the other character who has steadily become more popular than every other character on the show. I don't care if you didn't make the call, sir. You should have known what was going on on your own fucking show. I'm not gonna fanwank Seeing Red; Spike tried to rape Buffy, pure and simple. Now, I can still sympathesize with him; I see him as going through some sort of twisted battered wife syndrome, finally lashing out at his abuser. Would it have killed Buffy to really apologize for the things she did to him? And, no, I'm sorry, being almost raped doesn't take away her accountability for the things she was doing to him. Sure, the "Hey, that's cheating!" line in "Gone" was cute until it was clear that Buffy was committing an act of forcible sodomy on him when he obviously wanted her gone (and so did I...guess the title of the ep was appropriate to that extent). Yeah, it's really feminist to take away a man's self-esteem and use him just because you hate yourself. That's GRRL POWER! Don't give me that "She was in a dark place!" bullshit; it's such a cop-out. In the real world, you are still accountable for your actions even when you've been emotionally scarred.

Making Spike Buffy's bitch and letting James be harrassed by both crew members and other actors isn't cool. I don't know what kind of freak show you were running, but in no other studio have I ever heard of such rampant sexual harrassment of an actor; I suppose because he was male he just supposed to tough it out, right? Pornography actors and actresses get treated with more respect by their directors than that! And scaring him into towing the party line by threats of firing him is so totally wrong I don't even know where to begin! It obviously is something that is still bothering him. Honestly, it bothers me a hell of a lot, and I wasn't the one naked for eight hours a day. That, dear Mr. Whedon, is why you have no right to judge what is "torture porn." You also have no right to take away someone freedom of speech. If the MPAA takes away their rating, it means that most theatres will refuse to show the film; that's censorship. The rating system should be done away with all together in my opinion, along with labeling music, but I digress. I saw the trailers for Captivity, and they look no worse than Saw or Hostel. Maybe because a female lead is the one caught in a scary place and is being mentally tortured when Saw and Hostel had more male characters in those situations is the reason it bothers you, since you are oh so feminist! The guy in the trailers for Captivity looks like he's getting the brunt of the torture, so shut your cakehole. Many things in the world have been called the antithesis of mankind, so stop acting like you're the God of What Is Politically Correct. The Sex Pistols for starters, who I like, and they are a hell of a lot more creative than you or this film seems to be. This movie I may see; I may not. I may not go see it, I may not like it, I may hate it with a fiery burning passion, but by God, I will defend its right to be shown in theatres. If the MPAA has already given it a rating, you shouldn't ask them to take it away. Yes, money talks, Mr. Whedon, and since that's the only language _you_ understand, let me spell it out for you. You complaining about how violent and demeaning it is is only going to cause this film to make twice at the box office what it would have. So, you fail!
No love, you asshat.
Sincerely,
Fender
Woman, feminist, ranting bitca, and unapologetically all of these.