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It's 7AM, and I'm in the computer lab sobbing my eyes out. I've been here all night. I've barely eat or slept for like a week straight, pulling all nighters with no groceries at the house, worried that I won't have money to pay for the rest of my senior project stuff.
I fucking hate this whole semester. Nothing's gone right. Today is the final critique before the show, and my magazine (the main part of my entire display) isn't finished. I'm lacking one spread, which I might not tell Seth that I'm missing. The worst part is is that what I do have is not put together as it should be- the lab monitor was going to leave the printer room open for me, but a whiny little douchebag said it wasn't fair that I got to stay and work because I was in senior project and that his stuff was just as important and he should get to stay too blahblahblahblah, so the lab guy just locked everything up, but at least he was nice enough to let me print off what I have. >___<
And my commercial for my magazine is gone. POOF! The file corrupted itself or something, and now it's gone forever. Like four weeks worth of Flash animation gone like that! I don't know if I'll be able to redo it in time for the show Tuesday night. Hell, I'm not sure that Seth will let me have it in the show since he's not seen it. He's already pissed at me from yesterday morning when I spilled soda in the lab floor (I cleaned it up, but NOOOOO I'm just the most terrible person in the world).
I think I'm not going to have very high grades this semester, which is going to KILL my GPA. I was hoping to graduate with honours, but now... I think this one semester is going to make less likely. I just feel like I've let everyone down. I haven't been happy in so long that I wonder if graphic design was really what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't even know what I would WANT to do at this point- probably sit around, draw James, and pine over things I can never have. My birthday is on Saturday, and I just feel old, like I haven't done anything with my life. Twenty-three years of living, and all I have to show for it is a mountain of fangirling unattainable men, which is just depressing as hell.
I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm nervous as hell, I'm on my period, my ulcers are flaring, my blood pressure is through the roof, I've got severe chest pains, and I just can't take this anymore. I just want it over with. Can December 13th just be here now, please?
I fucking hate this whole semester. Nothing's gone right. Today is the final critique before the show, and my magazine (the main part of my entire display) isn't finished. I'm lacking one spread, which I might not tell Seth that I'm missing. The worst part is is that what I do have is not put together as it should be- the lab monitor was going to leave the printer room open for me, but a whiny little douchebag said it wasn't fair that I got to stay and work because I was in senior project and that his stuff was just as important and he should get to stay too blahblahblahblah, so the lab guy just locked everything up, but at least he was nice enough to let me print off what I have. >___<
And my commercial for my magazine is gone. POOF! The file corrupted itself or something, and now it's gone forever. Like four weeks worth of Flash animation gone like that! I don't know if I'll be able to redo it in time for the show Tuesday night. Hell, I'm not sure that Seth will let me have it in the show since he's not seen it. He's already pissed at me from yesterday morning when I spilled soda in the lab floor (I cleaned it up, but NOOOOO I'm just the most terrible person in the world).
I think I'm not going to have very high grades this semester, which is going to KILL my GPA. I was hoping to graduate with honours, but now... I think this one semester is going to make less likely. I just feel like I've let everyone down. I haven't been happy in so long that I wonder if graphic design was really what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't even know what I would WANT to do at this point- probably sit around, draw James, and pine over things I can never have. My birthday is on Saturday, and I just feel old, like I haven't done anything with my life. Twenty-three years of living, and all I have to show for it is a mountain of fangirling unattainable men, which is just depressing as hell.
I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm nervous as hell, I'm on my period, my ulcers are flaring, my blood pressure is through the roof, I've got severe chest pains, and I just can't take this anymore. I just want it over with. Can December 13th just be here now, please?
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