WTF, Commercial?

[fenderlove]

There's a carpet retailer in here in Tennessee that has, for years, used little children spouting "Made in the USA" catchphrases and waving cheap plastic flags in their commercials. Well, now they've hit upon a new gimmick- claiming that their carpet was made "by the Heavenly Father." *head-desk* I sorta want to go into their business and demand that their carpet better not only be resistant to wine spills but should turn water into more wine to refill my glass.



There are a lot of businesses around here that use the tactic of claiming to be a "Christian business," but they are the ones most likely to cheat and gouge their customers. I told one fellow who owned such an establishment (that had improperly installed tires to my mother's van and then refused to fix it), "I wouldn't care if you said you were a Satanic business as long as you did the job correctly!" He acted like I had slapped him and then got all holy-roller on me for "daring" to mention the "S-word" (No, Mr. Connery, that's not swords. :D) in his Christianly business.

Of course, I had the lady who owns the local Christian bookstore throw a loaf of bread at my face in Wal-Mart because she said that my Greek Orthodox cross was a "mark of the Beast" and that I was "one of the damned!" I don't know why I didn't just walk away, but I tried to explain to her to calm her down.

Me: No, it's just an Eastern Orthodox cross.
Her: Eastern? *gasps* Terrorist!
Me: It's Eastern Orthodox Catholicism.
Her: *starts wringing her hands and shouting* CATHOLIC DEVIL! DEMON! DEMON!

God, I hate this place so much. One of these days, I'm going to go to the print shop and have a small yard sign made that reads "ZEUS" in big bold san-serif letters to combat the huge amount of "JESUS" signs that people have in their yards. Yes, neighbours, Jesus is going to care more about a useless plastic sign in your yard than the fact that you treat others like garbage.

Comments

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Huh? Really? I mean, you're not making this up? Geeze Louise!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

God, if only it were a joke. Around here, if you don't go to one of the three major churches, you're a communist, a devil-worshipper, or both. Of course, even if you did go to one of the three largest churches, members from the other two would still claim that you were a communist, a devil-worshipper, or both. I need to get away from this place so badly.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

I shudder to ask, but what are the three major churches there? Moderate Lutheran here. How did you end up there? Are you sure you're not being punished for something hideous, a sort of Purgatory situation? Are they upset about all Eastern Orthodoxy: Greek, Romanian, Armenian, Russian, etc.? Is it a problem of lack of education? Is this a social demographic thing? Are you out in the intellectual sticks? I mean, it is 2011! Are you trying to relocate?

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

The three major churches are Southern Baptist, United Methodist, and Church of Christ. There are other churches- Seventh Day Adventists and Pentacostals, mostly. I think the problem around here is a lot of insulation against outside information. Kids are taught from a young age that they should get children who don't go to their church to try to lure them into that church, usually in the form of candy. A kid brings a bag of lollipops to school and says, "You can have one if you promise to come to my church jamboree. If you take one, you have to come. If you don't and take a sucker anyway, you'll go to hell for lying!" They are completely ignorant of sects of their own religion- they probably don't even know what Lutherans are.

I unfortunately was born here, from the only Roman Catholic family in town (my mother converted to Eastern Orthodoxy many years ago). My family, thank goodness, never tried to push religion on me, but there was certainly a lot of push from outside sources. The town I live in is mostly populated by uneducated, upper-lower class white people who are easily frightened by anything that they don't understand and don't believe anything that is told to them unless a family member or member of their church is doing the telling (and once they hear it from them, nothing can convince them otherwise). I cannot wait to leave here. I had to move back home after college, and I've been trying to move away ever since. I lived in Atlanta for a time, looking for a job, but had to move back here when I ran out of money and still had no job.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

In general, aren't United Methodists supposed to be sorta-kinda-not-all-that-strident-middle-of-the-road? Guess not there. I thought that sort of intellectual isolationism had largely passed, but in certain insulated communities, it's clearly still alive and well. There are, unfortunately, many people who couldn't name 10 Christian denominations to save their lives, let alone tell you the basic tenets of their beliefs. Heck, most religious Americans don't understand the theology of their own faith, but it's clearly an us vs. them situation. Your situation must also create problems for dating and socializing with an intellectually and socially similar crowd. Sigh!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

In high school, there were some kids I hung out with that diverged from their families, risked being disowned, and moved far, far away. Unfortunately, a lot of them that wanted different for themselves, held different beliefs from their families, stayed here and stayed in their families' churches, afraid that their mothers and fathers would never speak to them again. I dated one guy for two years in high school with the knowledge that he and I wanted very different things out of life, so there was no pressure, and it was more like a friendship thing. Of course, at the time it was assumed he would stay here, get an average joe job, and live forever in peace, and I would go away to college and stay gone... and now that my college time is over, I'm the one that's still here and he's moved away to start a new life. *head-desk* This town does stuff to you. Your icon is perfect because that scene with Buffy in the Doublemeat Palace, where she gets that look on her face as she's preparing food like "Is this really my life? Is this all I have to look forward to? What happened to me?" and then for Spike to come in and she tells him that he's making it worse... that's me every time I go into a store here and see someone that I knew in school. They always manage to make me feel like crap by saying, "Weren't you one of the smart girls? Smart girls are supposed to move away from here. Guess you weren't very smart at all." I just want to scream at them, "I am smart! I was top of my high school class, top of my college class, made the Dean's List every semester. I just never imagined the job market would be so terrible when I graduated." :(

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Awww, sweetie! Just remember, the job market comes and goes, and when it comes back, you will go. In the mean time for those too insular to understand your situation, just remember this: smart is on the inside, and jobs are on the outside. And as far as some of your school cohort goes, ignorance can be corrected, but dumb is forever. Intelligence is a gift, even where you are. What you have isn't sale. Physically, you are where you are only for the time being, but more importantly, we live our whole lives inside our heads. Some heads are furnished with a wealth of education and experience. Others are rather barren, dusty attics. Be grateful for what's rattling around up there.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

My head is filled with vampire fanfiction. And sadly, that's what keeps me sane, I think. :D I keep thinking that one day an idea is going to hit me, and I'll rocket the train to success, and then I realize that I'm full of ideas, but lacking ways to execute them properly. I'd like to get a book published in the next year or so, but I'm having a problem finding an agent or knowing who to trust with my manuscript. I thought maybe I could get an art book published so that it could be sold at conventions as I've seen some of my friends do, but even there it seems that a majority of my personal work is fanart which can't be published. I guess I need to lay off the fanart and start doing some original character pieces. XD

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Take any religious institution and put it in the South of the US, and it changes from "sane" to not.

I'm surrounded by it in Texas.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Even large cities or major university towns? Austin, Texas, for example?

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

Yup. Hell, half the colleges here are Christian colleges.

And the college kids are just as religious. (sort of. like..they drink and sleep around and stuff but Jesus will save them! Lots of unwed moms.)

I've lived in Austin and now the Dallas suburbs.

I grew up in the Northeast U.S. I grew up with people of all religions. We were NEVER intrusive like the christians here, and it seems they're ALL evangelical.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

*hugs* You feel my pain.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

On my block: 3 houses. 3 churches. This is a residential neighborhood.

Within 5 blocks: 8 more churches.

Lemme tell ya, when the bells ring on Sunday, there's NO sleeping in!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Oh, good grief. *buys you earplugs*

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

And ya know what? My area isn't unique. The thing that IS unique is that I don't have a Megachurch in my town. THEY'RE EVERYWHERE. They have their own coffee shops and clothing stores and stuff INSIDE the church!

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Gotta admit that one of the things I loved best about living in Germany were the bells in very, very old church towers -- "the rhyming and the chiming of the bells -- of the bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells -- the rhyming and the chiming of the bells."

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Only the oldest church- the Baptists- have bells... Well, they have an actual bell, but they don't ring it anymore. They play a recording of bells at noon everyday, throughout the day on Sundays, and then on religious observances. It's annoying except when it's very quiet on Christmas Eve, and they play more festive tunes instead of a droning clang-clang-clang.

I think I would like to hear the bells in Germany. When I went to Europe many years ago, I regretted that we didn't get to go there.

[diebirchen.livejournal.com]

Recorded bells wouldn't do it for me. Germany is wonderful. I've been blessed with over four years there, a year in England, and 6 months in Austria. It changed my life forever.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

The mega-churches scare the shit out of me. The only people near here who have one are the Pentecostals. It looks like a mall with enormous metal letters on the outside of the building spelling out "THE PENTECOSTALS" in case passersby didn't see the equally enormous "THE PENTECOSTALS" sign out by the road. The nearest churches and temples for other faiths are hours away. Mom doesn't have the energy to get up at 3AM on Sunday to drive three hours to the nearest EO church, so she "internet-commutes" and watches the service on the computer most of the time.

I'm also ashamed that Murfreesboro, where I went to college, is the focus of the "Unwelcome in America" CNN documentary about the irrational fears people have about having mosques in their town. I saw some of the clips, and they broke my heart. This crazy lady got up at the town meeting and started saying that, "This is the start! They're starting to infiltrate so they can KILL US!!!" without realizing that the mosque has been in Murfreesboro for almost 30 years without any problems and just wants to build a new facility instead of being next to the frickin' bowling alley. The college campus, which feels like the majority of the town, is very open and accepting to a very diverse population of students, many of whom counter-protested the anti-Muslim vocal townsfolk. The older people in M'boro have the attitude of "Kids are stupid. They let their feelings think for them. They don't know what the "real world" is like."

[sueworld2003.livejournal.com]

Omg that sound awful. Some folks need to look around them and realsie there's a whole big new shiny world out there and not everything revolves around their god.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

They like their cloistered, self-loathing world, filled with fear and anger and disappointed hopes. What's sad is that a lot of people are disillusioned with their own faith around here, and there's nowhere for them to turn without being shunned by their closest family and friends, so they stay right where they are, growing bitter and hateful, lashing out at others because it makes them feel better and righteous. I mean, how many Sundays can one sit in a pew knowing that the Pastor is having an affair with the barely legal church organist and that the Sunday School teacher is hung over from Saturday night? I'd go mad.

[evenstar-estel.livejournal.com]

OH America, you're so good for LOLs. Parts of you are SO awesome and yet parts of you are so ludacris and pathetic it makes my head ache.

And you're right, and I've experienced it - some of the most devout 'Christians' are usually the ones who are the least Christ-like!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I love my country, but most of the time I just want to bang my head against the keyboard 'til I see stars.

some of the most devout 'Christians' are usually the ones who are the least Christ-like!
Oh, yes, indeed. I refuse to use any businesses that advertise as such around here. I mean, if they want to be "Christianly" then they should show people through honest business practices and being good to their customers instead of just throwing words in people's faces and then doing shoddy work.

[paratti.livejournal.com]

You really have to get out of there to somewhere sane.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I really, really do.

[shakensilence.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of the Zeus sign... that is just perfect. The sad thing is it would likely have such drastic negative consequences for you, you could never seriously do it. Or I'd say don't joke about it, just do it and see what happens. But you live in the Bible belt... sorry about that. I can only imagine how frustrating that is for you. I'd never survive in the bible belt as an atheist... I'd be drawn and quartered before you could sneeze.

[shakensilence.livejournal.com]

Oh wow... that would be horrible, and I thought having to copy the bible was bad that one time. I couldn't have dealt with that for so long.

You are amazing!!!!!!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

My mom has already put a kibosh on the Zeus sign. She fears that our yard and house would be vandalized, and she's likely right.

My mom's Eastern Orthodox, and my dad's Roman Catholic, and I was raised neither, allowed to come to my own belief structure. Even if I was either form of Catholicism, it would be heretical here, and not being able to claim a sect growing up made it extremely difficult to get along in a social structure in which people's first meetings in school, ball games, and even job interviews usually goes like this- "Hello. Nice to meet you. Where do you go to church?" I used to tell people when I was a kid, "I don't associated with an organized religion." Other kids didn't get it, my teachers didn't understand, and I even had other kids' parents refuse to allow them to attend my birthdays and such. I had people tape pamplets to my lockers and put Bibles in my bookbag. I wasn't alone in being treated badly, of course. There were a few others who got this treatment- a Roman Catholic girl, twins who practiced Hinduism, and my friend who was openly Atheist. My whole school experience can be summed up with an argument I got into with a math teacher who didn't know how to teach the subject matter.

Me: Why do you move the X in the equation there? Shouldn't you move it there instead?
Her: I wouldn't expect a heathen like you to understand.
Me: What's that supposed to mean? I just want to know why you're writing the equation like you did instead of how the book shows us how to do it?
Her: If you don't believe in math, then you don't believe in JESUS! He created everything!
Me: The Bible says that God is not the author of confusion, and you're confusing me, so none of this is Jesus' doing.
Her: Go to the principal's office!

And that was what my first twelve years at school were like.

[txvoodoo.livejournal.com]

I guess that's the only thing good about Texas - lots of Catholics. Mostly Latino, though, so sort of looked down upon.

All moot for me, seeing as I'm atheist. (Scott won't even say he's that, because it means he believes there's no god, and he doesn't want to believe in ANYTHING! hehe)

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Heehee, that reminds me of a scene from Metalocalypse:
Nathan Explosion: So, where are we now?
Pickles the Drummer: This is the church of the atheists. They don't, uh, believe in God.
Nathan Explosion: Oh, like Toki and Skwisgaar?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: No, we are nihilists. We don't believe in anything.
Nathan Explosion: But can't nihilists also... not... believe in god... too?
Skwisgaar Skwigelf: Well, I, uh... I don't know. No. They won't let you.

[weinerdogsmama.livejournal.com]

That's the Bible Belt for you. I think you could get away with the Zeus sign...most people probably wouldn't get it.