This has been the worst semester ever.

[fenderlove]

It's 7AM, and I'm in the computer lab sobbing my eyes out. I've been here all night. I've barely eat or slept for like a week straight, pulling all nighters with no groceries at the house, worried that I won't have money to pay for the rest of my senior project stuff.

I fucking hate this whole semester. Nothing's gone right. Today is the final critique before the show, and my magazine (the main part of my entire display) isn't finished. I'm lacking one spread, which I might not tell Seth that I'm missing. The worst part is is that what I do have is not put together as it should be- the lab monitor was going to leave the printer room open for me, but a whiny little douchebag said it wasn't fair that I got to stay and work because I was in senior project and that his stuff was just as important and he should get to stay too blahblahblahblah, so the lab guy just locked everything up, but at least he was nice enough to let me print off what I have. >___<
And my commercial for my magazine is gone. POOF! The file corrupted itself or something, and now it's gone forever. Like four weeks worth of Flash animation gone like that! I don't know if I'll be able to redo it in time for the show Tuesday night. Hell, I'm not sure that Seth will let me have it in the show since he's not seen it. He's already pissed at me from yesterday morning when I spilled soda in the lab floor (I cleaned it up, but NOOOOO I'm just the most terrible person in the world).
I think I'm not going to have very high grades this semester, which is going to KILL my GPA. I was hoping to graduate with honours, but now... I think this one semester is going to make less likely. I just feel like I've let everyone down. I haven't been happy in so long that I wonder if graphic design was really what I'm supposed to be doing. I don't even know what I would WANT to do at this point- probably sit around, draw James, and pine over things I can never have. My birthday is on Saturday, and I just feel old, like I haven't done anything with my life. Twenty-three years of living, and all I have to show for it is a mountain of fangirling unattainable men, which is just depressing as hell.
I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm nervous as hell, I'm on my period, my ulcers are flaring, my blood pressure is through the roof, I've got severe chest pains, and I just can't take this anymore. I just want it over with. Can December 13th just be here now, please?

Comments

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

OK you sound like you're having a panic attack, breathe into a paper bag and it'll settle)

Once you've calmed down a bit the chest pains will go.

Eat, sleep, go for a walk

You won't get anything achieved until you take some space and calm down.

Then take a look at what you have and what you need to do in order to be ready by Tuesday .

Ignore the little stuff, soda on the floor is no big deal

Shelve the angst over the rest of your life, you're young, plenty of time to do whatever it is that you want to do .

Get some advice from someone technically minded about the corrupted file, if it's gone look at what you have on back up, you have time, it's only Tuesday and you won't be going from scratch . If you don't have time to print and finish that last spread then explain about the printer situation, Arrange a time to show your tutor the finished work.

After Tuesday you can look at the money situation, if you finish school on the 13th you could maybe do a bit of work over Christmas.


And ((hugs))

It'll be OK

Honestly it will.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thanks for the encouraging words. One of my classmates arrived for class, and being able to talk to someone in person made me feel better. I've had my cry, so I'm okay now. Seth's not mad at me after I explained about the file. He's just worried about the covers to the magazine (there are 12 different covers for the magazine that make up a single picture when they are hung on the wall). He says that my spreads in the magazine are so "meaty" ie he likes the content, but he's worried that the covers don't have the same level as the rest. He says he knows I'll get it done though 'cause I always do. I think he was worried about how I looked today ('cause I never got to change close or like sleep at all).

[deborahw37.livejournal.com]

I'm glad things are better

Get some sleep though

You'll work faster and better when you've rested

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I'm at home now, but I can't stay. ;__; I have just enough time to catch a quick shower, change clothes, brush my teeth and hair, and get back to campus to go to my Astronomy class. It's over at 2:20, and I plan on coming home and sleeping from then until 5:20 'cause I have another class from 6PM to 9PM. After that, it will be MUCH MUCH sleeping.

[cuervodolls.livejournal.com]

Hey sweetie, Deb had some excellent advice, there. I've sent you a box with some tiny things inside for the Pinkys and the other box for "you know what". I know your birthday is Saturday & don't knnow if your card will ge there by then, but if it does, enjoy! You've got Mad Skillz. (whether nunchuck or otherwise)

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

*hugs tightly* Thanks so much. I look forward to seeing everything! I'm sure it will cheer me up immensely. I got to talk to Ian today, which was nice; he always finds a way to make me feel better. People were really nice today about my stuff, so I'm hoping that they do like it for real. Seth seemed to take quite a liking to all my spreads in my magazine, so maybe it'll all work out. Now if it stops raining tomorrow so that I can get my posters and vinyl from Alco for the show, that'd be magic!

[sockmonkeyhere.livejournal.com]

What Deb said. Things are already starting to sort out, and you're feeling better, and that's wonderful. You just got overwhelmed when everything seemed to bottleneck at once...but the nice thing about bottlenecks is that at some point they always suddenly widen and your traffic starts flowing smoothly again!

You're a hard worker, and whatever pieces of the project that you get into the show will reflect that, whether or not they're complete. So GO, YOU! :D

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, if pieces aren't complete, they can't go into the show, and if you are missing pieces from your project, then your project can't be put up in the show at all, which equals no graduation. If you screw up Senior Project, there are no second chances; I'd have to start all over again with a new major. ;__; It's happened several times before to other students, so the professors aren't afraid to do it. They don't want incomplete projects bringing down the look of the entire show because it will make the school look bad since we've got the best graphic design program in the state and all the Nashville professionals will be there.
I'm doing better right now. Seth talked me down off a ledge. He's mad that he didn't get to see the animation before it went POOF, but he wants me to email it to him if I'm able to redo it before the show.

[sockmonkeyhere.livejournal.com]

{{hugs}} It'll all come out in the wash. Hurrah for Seth, and Happy, Happy Birthday! (As soon as you have time to celebrate it. ;D )

[stars-of-tears.livejournal.com]

I don't know you very much, but...

*hugs*

Deborah had the wisest words: lots of sleep, food (hey! No junk food: fruit for the good sugar, and proteins!), and a little walk outside, a movie, or a bit of partying with your friends and you'll feel brand-new! :)

Student life is very stressing, but you can do it!
Don't put yourself down like this: you're a very talented person, anyone can see it, and a hard worker. So if you can't do it, nobody can ;P

I suggest a big birthday party for you on sat (23 is anything BUT old!)


Take care hun!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the hugs. I wish I had time for my birthday, but any celebrations will likely have to wait until after next week when Senior Project is finally over with. I'm doing better right now; I was able to get 13 hours of sleep last night! LOL. XD

[bendy1.livejournal.com]

Ah, studentdom. Glad it's in my past for the most part :D

Hope you're feeling better now.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm better. I got out of my 6PM to 9PM class early last night so I was able to come home and sleep for 13 hours, but now it's back to the salt mines. I have to go pick up some of my show pieces from the printers, pick up my five other pieces that were printed and shipped by mail (which better be here today or someone is going to rue), and go buy paint for my wall display, but that's fun stuff. XD

[spikereader.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor you, sounds like you've had a bad few days. Glad things are going better by today and that you managed to catch up on some sleep. Talking things through with people (in RL and virtually) always helps get a different perspective on things too.

I know you'll get everything done and in time for the show. I have great faith in your talent and ability.

*hugs*

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Thanks very much for the kind words and hugs. I appreciate it. ^__^

[lovelikeadrug.livejournal.com]

HUG!

happy birthday!!

oh, and i keep forgetting!! if you need any [free] coke or pizza, let me know!! i wish you help you in your time of unquantifiable suffering.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I always need free pizza and coke! XD LOL! I'm feeling a little better, still somewhat sleep-deprived but better in spirit.

[lovelikeadrug.livejournal.com]

i'm completely surrus. Call 615.945.2317 To Redeem Your Free Sustenance Rations Now! Limited Time Only! Call Any Time Between Whenever-I-Wake-Up-Which-Is-Usually-I-Dunno-Like-1pm-Ish And Midnight On Weeknights! the least i can do! and hell, i like to steal from my company anyway.

i can't do anything about yr maybe-broken nose, though. = (