Buffy reminds me of the character of Holly in the film P.S. I Love You. After her husband dies, she pretty much abandons her friends, but the audience is still supposed to sympathize with her 'cause it's her husband and she is the main character. Why I couldn't relate to Holly is exemplified by one of the deleted scenes in which JM's character tells Holly that she may have lost her husband but he lost his pseudo-brother and best friend; everyone in their circle was grieving and it wasn't all. about. Holly... yet Holly completely misses the point of what he's saying and dives into another conversation that revolves around her... and her friends just forgive her 'cause they love her but nothing about her behavior is ever going to change. *sigh*
After a while, Buffy's woes start looking pretty pedestrian and we start thinking "well, SHIT. We deal with it, why can't she?" Exactly! A part of me can relate to Buffy because I've lived what she has- my dad left when I was a kid, my mother's been emotionally unavailable at times, I had to take a job that I felt was beneath me just to pay the bills- but at the same time I can't relate to her because I don't hurt people because of my problems. Others want everyone to look at Buffy and just forgive her when she hurts someone around her because of the "monster stuff," i.e. being a demon fighter gives her a free pass not to have to deal with her issues, and in that way, they put her up on this untouchable pedestal... yet Willow doesn't get a free pass, Spike doesn't get a free pass, Faith definitely doesn't. It's completely arbitrary and unfair that Buffy gets forgiven by everyone because "everything is so hard for her!" when she does nothing to help herself and keeps getting faux-epiphanies that look good on camera but she never learns anything from them.
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Date: 2011-01-05 03:39 pm (UTC)After a while, Buffy's woes start looking pretty pedestrian and we start thinking "well, SHIT. We deal with it, why can't she?"
Exactly! A part of me can relate to Buffy because I've lived what she has- my dad left when I was a kid, my mother's been emotionally unavailable at times, I had to take a job that I felt was beneath me just to pay the bills- but at the same time I can't relate to her because I don't hurt people because of my problems. Others want everyone to look at Buffy and just forgive her when she hurts someone around her because of the "monster stuff," i.e. being a demon fighter gives her a free pass not to have to deal with her issues, and in that way, they put her up on this untouchable pedestal... yet Willow doesn't get a free pass, Spike doesn't get a free pass, Faith definitely doesn't. It's completely arbitrary and unfair that Buffy gets forgiven by everyone because "everything is so hard for her!" when she does nothing to help herself and keeps getting faux-epiphanies that look good on camera but she never learns anything from them.