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This is a list strictly limited to BtVS of things that made absolutely no sense to me on the show (so there's no S8 stuff... that would be a whole other longer list).
Things That Just Didn't Make Sense.
1. Why did Joyce not file a missing person's report when Buffy ran away at the end of Season Two? I do not remember this being covered on the show. Speaking of, did Buffy actually complete her Junior year of school? She missed the tail end of it, and her grades were always spoken of to be subpar, so we assume that she does because she graduates on schedule, but it really doesn't make a lot of sense except that Giles threatens Synder to let her back in school and ergo could have forced him to let her move ahead to the correct grade, but still...
2. After Joyce's death in Season Five, why wasn't Buffy receiving child support for Dawn from Hank Summers? He would have been paying child support for both of his daughters up until 1999 when Buffy turned 18, but he would have been still making payments for Dawn. I know there's a theory going about that Hank has no idea who Dawn is, but that would have been suspicious if the monks' spell was never found out and Hank was only sending birthday and Christmas cards to Buffy and not Dawn.
3. The first surgery to remove Spike's chip is just not right. If Polite Dissent has taught me anything, it's that how that Initiative doctor went about it is not right. He didn't shave the hair off where he was going to make his incisions into Spike's skull or anything. I would also think that if you were operating on the back of someone's head (where Spike's chip is show to be) why would you have them lay down to do exploratory surgery on their brain anyway? Don't they normally have people sit up for that kind of surgery, bolted into one of those collars to keep their heads still?
4. Why did the DHS investigation into Buffy's guardianship of Dawn stop? Just because a social worker is taken off a case (if that is what happened to Mrs. Kruegler in "Gone"), the investigation does not stop. They would get someone new on the case and continue the investigation. "Gone" is an episode that really irks my mother, who worked for the Department of Children's Services for over fifteen years. She has a lot of strongly worded things to say about it and why it's very wrong. XD Mrs. Kruegler asked hardly any questions while in Buffy's house. If a social worker has a suspicion that they have come across a huge bag of drugs that the person being investigated calls "magic weed," the police are going to be called. The suspicious looking contents of the bag will be confiscated to be tested, and Buffy would be asked to submit to a drug screening, and Dawn would have been either taken to a relative or put into temporary state custody (whatever California guidelines are for such a situation). No one would leave a child in a situation where they think that there are drugs involved like that. If Buffy tests clean and the "magic weed" isn't found to be a drug, then Dawn would have been returned. Also, Mrs. Kruegler asked no questions about the people living in Buffy's house. The fact that guests are in the home is not an issue, but if someone is living in the home, the social worker should be asking for all their information, want to talk to them herself/himself, and find out if they have any criminal records and such. Also, did Buffy care that by trying to destroy Mrs. Kruegler's career by calling into question her sanity how much money that was going to cost the state to possibly re-investigate all of her cases? That Buffy might be jeopardizing the safety of children in the system? I guess she was too happy whistling her invisible ass into Spike's bed to actually use her brain and think for a moment about her fucking actions. It's one of those moments where I dislike Buffy very, very much. "But, Fender," some people cry out, "you're not supposed to think about those things!" Tough!
5. Going back to the above, why didn't Hank Summers just turn guardianship of Dawn over to Buffy? If they had gone through the courts, he could have signed guardianship over to his adult daughter, and there would have been no reason for DHS to be involved or to investigate. Also, DHS would have done a background check on Buffy before continuing to allow her to keep Dawn. That means that all the 911 calls from the Summers' house, all the police reports where Buffy's name comes up (like in several investigations for MURDER), and possibly even her stay in a mental institution would come up. They would not leave a child in her custody. However, if Hank signed over his guardianship, in most cases, they wouldn't do the background check, and Buffy could keep Dawn without DHS ever having to be involved... yet they were... and yet no one did a background check... *head-desk*
5. Vampires have no breath... yet they talk and smoke cigarettes. We see vampires sighing, taking sharp intakes of breath, yelling, gulping... Either Joss Whedon doesn't understand how respiration works or... Well, that's it... Vampires would be like walking oxygen tanks. They take in oxygen and exhale oxygen unlike us pitiful humans who turn oxygen into CO2 when exhaling. If Angelus can smoke a cigarette, then Angel would have been able to give Buffy CPR in "Prophecy Girl" unless... he wanted the prophecy about a Slayer dying at the Master's hands to be true so he thought that Buffy had to die...
6. The Slayer spell in Chosen as Buffy & Co's only recourse of action. I'm not trying to say that Buffy made the wrong or right choice or that another choice would have been better, BUT the whole show is predicated upon only never being only; there is always, always another way, but I'm not even going to get into this one because it would be its own post.
7. Vampire physics including but not limited to- various reflections of vampires throughout the show. I know these are gaffs, and sometimes they're not that noticeable, but Spike's clear very obvious reflection in "Him" actually had me wanting him to turn to the window and say, "HOLY SHIT! I can see myself!" You can't use telepathy on vampires... only that's the only way Betta George can communicate so are vampires able to hear telepathic communications but not send them? I'm fairly certain that Spike does talk to George through thought alone on a few occasions (okay, that was a comic-related one, but still). What constitutes a public building where vampires don't need an invitation and what doesn't? Obviously, stores want people to come in, but Ms. Calendar seems surprised that Angelus can get into the school under the guise of "seeking knowledge" per the school's slogan ("Enter all those that seek knowledge" or something like that), and in "Lie to Me" we see two vampires on school grounds and you could argue that they were seeking knowledge (the knowledge in one of Giles's books). However, Spike and his whole crew of vampires attack the school, and I doubt they were seeking the book-larnin'. And some newer crypts would be considered private property as the plots are owned and maintained by a relative or trust. Also, Dracula has magical Dracula-physics that only apply to him... or he's just too superstitious to realize that he doesn't actually need his special dirt to cross open bodies of water.
8. Spike's grave. Does he have one? He tells Buffy that he had to crawl out of his own coffin in S6, but in LMPTM in S7 we learn that Drusilla, unlike Darla did with Liam, did not leave William to be found and buried by his family. Anne still believed her son to still be alive after he'd been missing for several days. So, that leaves the question if Spike was buried at all? There's a few possibilities. Did he just say that he was buried to make Buffy feel less alone in what she had gone through? Or, did Drusilla bury him herself? On A:ts, Drusilla buries Darla after she re-sired her in a shroud in a greenhouse planter. Could she have buried William in a coffin or coffin-like box so that he could rise?
9. Does everyone in the Buffyverse have at least one awful parent or have the perception that their parents are awful? Fred is the exception 'cause her parents are AWESOME and I would totally watch a sitcom about Roger and Trish Burkle. (Weird side note: What's with all the re-namings in these shows? Spike and Angel basically have the same name, William and Liam. Fred and Wesley's fathers are both named Roger. Anne, Spike's mother's name, is also Buffy's middle name and consequently the name Lily/Chantarelle takes are her own (a weird side note within a side note: in the shooting script, Spike's mother's name was Constance, which I think goes nicely with "William" since it means resolute protector) (another weird side note: in the original shooting script for Hell's Bells, Xander and Anya's kids were named Sarah and David XD )).
10. Fluctuating power levels! How strong are everyone's powers? It's hard to tell. Spike can't lift Olaf the Troll God's Enchanted Hammer, and Buffy can, but Spike can stand his own with Illyria one-on-one... I guess that was after she lost some of her powers... Angel has super-duper-superman strength... except, of course, when there's an itsy bitsy padlock on the door like in What's My Line, Part 1. How strong Willow's magicks are exactly is completely up-in-the-air throughout the later seasons as are Giles's. Buffy's healing powers are also all over the map- stab to the gut can still run pretty quickly though she does pass out eventually and is even still conscious after nearly being beaten to death by a TurokHan, but bruise her side/back area and she's completely incapacitated. There are several scenes in which Buffy is seen wearing little bandaids on her fingers and hands in random scenes; these are for SMG's safety and her non-Slayer healing abilities. Slayers should not need bandaids for paper-cut-sized wounds when they can survive massive internal injuries without going to the hospital. Make up your damn minds, writers!
Things That Just Didn't Make Sense.
1. Why did Joyce not file a missing person's report when Buffy ran away at the end of Season Two? I do not remember this being covered on the show. Speaking of, did Buffy actually complete her Junior year of school? She missed the tail end of it, and her grades were always spoken of to be subpar, so we assume that she does because she graduates on schedule, but it really doesn't make a lot of sense except that Giles threatens Synder to let her back in school and ergo could have forced him to let her move ahead to the correct grade, but still...
2. After Joyce's death in Season Five, why wasn't Buffy receiving child support for Dawn from Hank Summers? He would have been paying child support for both of his daughters up until 1999 when Buffy turned 18, but he would have been still making payments for Dawn. I know there's a theory going about that Hank has no idea who Dawn is, but that would have been suspicious if the monks' spell was never found out and Hank was only sending birthday and Christmas cards to Buffy and not Dawn.
3. The first surgery to remove Spike's chip is just not right. If Polite Dissent has taught me anything, it's that how that Initiative doctor went about it is not right. He didn't shave the hair off where he was going to make his incisions into Spike's skull or anything. I would also think that if you were operating on the back of someone's head (where Spike's chip is show to be) why would you have them lay down to do exploratory surgery on their brain anyway? Don't they normally have people sit up for that kind of surgery, bolted into one of those collars to keep their heads still?
4. Why did the DHS investigation into Buffy's guardianship of Dawn stop? Just because a social worker is taken off a case (if that is what happened to Mrs. Kruegler in "Gone"), the investigation does not stop. They would get someone new on the case and continue the investigation. "Gone" is an episode that really irks my mother, who worked for the Department of Children's Services for over fifteen years. She has a lot of strongly worded things to say about it and why it's very wrong. XD Mrs. Kruegler asked hardly any questions while in Buffy's house. If a social worker has a suspicion that they have come across a huge bag of drugs that the person being investigated calls "magic weed," the police are going to be called. The suspicious looking contents of the bag will be confiscated to be tested, and Buffy would be asked to submit to a drug screening, and Dawn would have been either taken to a relative or put into temporary state custody (whatever California guidelines are for such a situation). No one would leave a child in a situation where they think that there are drugs involved like that. If Buffy tests clean and the "magic weed" isn't found to be a drug, then Dawn would have been returned. Also, Mrs. Kruegler asked no questions about the people living in Buffy's house. The fact that guests are in the home is not an issue, but if someone is living in the home, the social worker should be asking for all their information, want to talk to them herself/himself, and find out if they have any criminal records and such. Also, did Buffy care that by trying to destroy Mrs. Kruegler's career by calling into question her sanity how much money that was going to cost the state to possibly re-investigate all of her cases? That Buffy might be jeopardizing the safety of children in the system? I guess she was too happy whistling her invisible ass into Spike's bed to actually use her brain and think for a moment about her fucking actions. It's one of those moments where I dislike Buffy very, very much. "But, Fender," some people cry out, "you're not supposed to think about those things!" Tough!
5. Going back to the above, why didn't Hank Summers just turn guardianship of Dawn over to Buffy? If they had gone through the courts, he could have signed guardianship over to his adult daughter, and there would have been no reason for DHS to be involved or to investigate. Also, DHS would have done a background check on Buffy before continuing to allow her to keep Dawn. That means that all the 911 calls from the Summers' house, all the police reports where Buffy's name comes up (like in several investigations for MURDER), and possibly even her stay in a mental institution would come up. They would not leave a child in her custody. However, if Hank signed over his guardianship, in most cases, they wouldn't do the background check, and Buffy could keep Dawn without DHS ever having to be involved... yet they were... and yet no one did a background check... *head-desk*
5. Vampires have no breath... yet they talk and smoke cigarettes. We see vampires sighing, taking sharp intakes of breath, yelling, gulping... Either Joss Whedon doesn't understand how respiration works or... Well, that's it... Vampires would be like walking oxygen tanks. They take in oxygen and exhale oxygen unlike us pitiful humans who turn oxygen into CO2 when exhaling. If Angelus can smoke a cigarette, then Angel would have been able to give Buffy CPR in "Prophecy Girl" unless... he wanted the prophecy about a Slayer dying at the Master's hands to be true so he thought that Buffy had to die...
6. The Slayer spell in Chosen as Buffy & Co's only recourse of action. I'm not trying to say that Buffy made the wrong or right choice or that another choice would have been better, BUT the whole show is predicated upon only never being only; there is always, always another way, but I'm not even going to get into this one because it would be its own post.
7. Vampire physics including but not limited to- various reflections of vampires throughout the show. I know these are gaffs, and sometimes they're not that noticeable, but Spike's clear very obvious reflection in "Him" actually had me wanting him to turn to the window and say, "HOLY SHIT! I can see myself!" You can't use telepathy on vampires... only that's the only way Betta George can communicate so are vampires able to hear telepathic communications but not send them? I'm fairly certain that Spike does talk to George through thought alone on a few occasions (okay, that was a comic-related one, but still). What constitutes a public building where vampires don't need an invitation and what doesn't? Obviously, stores want people to come in, but Ms. Calendar seems surprised that Angelus can get into the school under the guise of "seeking knowledge" per the school's slogan ("Enter all those that seek knowledge" or something like that), and in "Lie to Me" we see two vampires on school grounds and you could argue that they were seeking knowledge (the knowledge in one of Giles's books). However, Spike and his whole crew of vampires attack the school, and I doubt they were seeking the book-larnin'. And some newer crypts would be considered private property as the plots are owned and maintained by a relative or trust. Also, Dracula has magical Dracula-physics that only apply to him... or he's just too superstitious to realize that he doesn't actually need his special dirt to cross open bodies of water.
8. Spike's grave. Does he have one? He tells Buffy that he had to crawl out of his own coffin in S6, but in LMPTM in S7 we learn that Drusilla, unlike Darla did with Liam, did not leave William to be found and buried by his family. Anne still believed her son to still be alive after he'd been missing for several days. So, that leaves the question if Spike was buried at all? There's a few possibilities. Did he just say that he was buried to make Buffy feel less alone in what she had gone through? Or, did Drusilla bury him herself? On A:ts, Drusilla buries Darla after she re-sired her in a shroud in a greenhouse planter. Could she have buried William in a coffin or coffin-like box so that he could rise?
9. Does everyone in the Buffyverse have at least one awful parent or have the perception that their parents are awful? Fred is the exception 'cause her parents are AWESOME and I would totally watch a sitcom about Roger and Trish Burkle. (Weird side note: What's with all the re-namings in these shows? Spike and Angel basically have the same name, William and Liam. Fred and Wesley's fathers are both named Roger. Anne, Spike's mother's name, is also Buffy's middle name and consequently the name Lily/Chantarelle takes are her own (a weird side note within a side note: in the shooting script, Spike's mother's name was Constance, which I think goes nicely with "William" since it means resolute protector) (another weird side note: in the original shooting script for Hell's Bells, Xander and Anya's kids were named Sarah and David XD )).
10. Fluctuating power levels! How strong are everyone's powers? It's hard to tell. Spike can't lift Olaf the Troll God's Enchanted Hammer, and Buffy can, but Spike can stand his own with Illyria one-on-one... I guess that was after she lost some of her powers... Angel has super-duper-superman strength... except, of course, when there's an itsy bitsy padlock on the door like in What's My Line, Part 1. How strong Willow's magicks are exactly is completely up-in-the-air throughout the later seasons as are Giles's. Buffy's healing powers are also all over the map- stab to the gut can still run pretty quickly though she does pass out eventually and is even still conscious after nearly being beaten to death by a TurokHan, but bruise her side/back area and she's completely incapacitated. There are several scenes in which Buffy is seen wearing little bandaids on her fingers and hands in random scenes; these are for SMG's safety and her non-Slayer healing abilities. Slayers should not need bandaids for paper-cut-sized wounds when they can survive massive internal injuries without going to the hospital. Make up your damn minds, writers!
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For that matter, did Joyce receive any for Buffy? I mean they said he was living in Spain but still...
The first surgery to remove Spike's chip is just not right
Well, of course he didn't really remove anything did he. But surely Spike and Harmony should have picked up on what you said.
Why did the DHS investigation into Buffy's guardianship of Dawn stop? Just because a social worker is taken off a case (if that is what happened to Mrs. Kruegler in "Gone"), the investigation does not stop
I guess we're supposed to assume that the second visit was perfect "rolls eyes".
Vampires have no breath... yet they talk and smoke cigarettes. We see vampires sighing, taking sharp intakes of breath, yelling, gulping...
Well... for that matter... what about bleeding, erections, eating food...
There's a few possibilities. Did he just say that he was buried to make Buffy feel less alone in what she had gone through? Or, did Drusilla bury him herself? On A:ts, Drusilla buries Darla after she re-sired her in a shroud in a greenhouse planter. Could she have buried William in a coffin or coffin-like box so that he could rise?
I think in the Buffyverse you have to be in some kind of dirt but not necessarily deep in the ground. So maybe she just dug a hole in the stable and covered him up or something along those lines.
What's with all the re-namings in these shows? Spike and Angel basically have the same name, William and Liam. Fred and Wesley's fathers are both named Roger. Anne, Spike's mother's name, is also Buffy's middle name and consequently the name Lily/Chantarelle takes are her own (a weird side note within a side note: in the shooting script, Spike's mother's name was Constance, which I think goes nicely with "William" since it means resolute protector) (another weird side note: in the original shooting script for Hell's Bells, Xander and Anya's kids were named Sarah and David XD )).
Yeah, I've noticed that.
Fluctuating power levels! How strong are everyone's powers?
Remember! Captain Logic is not steering the tugboat on any of the above.
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Speaking of income, why did Buffy have to work in the DMP? Like, if she was so fixated on "not going through a lengthy training process" (which my friends who work in fast food would beg to differ on that), why couldn't she got to Wendy's or some place that had a respectable uniform? She could work in a retail store. I didn't have to go through any training when I worked at the toy store nor did I have to wear a cow-chicken hat. Oh, but Buffy had to have that... so her self-esteem could drown in its own tears.
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Well... for that matter... what about bleeding, erections, eating food...
James Marsters thinks that BtVS vampires actually go to the loo even though it makes no sense that they have any biological functions. Crying, sweating, etc. makes no sense. I used to think that maybe when Spike eats food it just sits in his stomach and rots until it's gone, but that doesn't make a lot of sense. I mean, when we see Angel's organs when Gwen shocks him he's all dried out and shrivel-y on the inside, so if all vampires are like that, how can they eat at all without secretions to force food down the esophagus? Oh, logic is so far away! XD
Where is Captain Logic when you need him? XD
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I've never understood that. The body is a system. If he's walking and talking and ingesting solid food, logic dictates that the entire system must function it's just magically animated. Now, a zombie might be a different case, but nothing about vampires indicates that the whole system isn't working.
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B. Willing suspension of disbelief, occasionally common sense, and various of one's physical senses.
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So was the Grinch's, but he was living. Green, but living.
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Sunnydale has to have a large worker turnover what with all the death; it's not like there'd be no jobs in that town. I don't get why she had to work at the most embarrassing fast food restaurants of all fast food restaurants when it was obviously hurting her self-esteem. At least at a nice sit-down place, she could have worked her way from waitress to hostess or something. And did she ever consider that maybe her high school employment placement test was right and she should look into law enforcement? Sunnydale's police are laughable, and she probably could have easily patrolled in a squad car in all the cemetaries (the places the average police guys in that town wouldn't go).
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I am perfectly willing to believe that a vampire could take in blood and that it circulates or infuses into all his organs allowing him to function in normal ways, but still... if Spike could go to the bathroom, where was he going in his crypt... Ewwww, he's got a bucket somewhere in the corner like Justine. *gags*
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Self-defense instructor?
Personal trainor? (hell she already had a personal gym)
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ROFL!
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Buffy could have also done gymnastic instruction too.
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I think I should add "magical disappearing facial hair" to my list of implausible things. Spike doesn't ever have facial hair even when human, probably doesn't have to shave, but Angel is shown to be able to grow a full mustache yet... he didn't have any stubble when he came back from hell or lived on the streets... Did Satan allow him to shave? Was he digging disposable razors out of the trash?
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That's why it doesn't make sense. I mean, I have to wonder if he realizes he's using breath to speak the words "I have no breath." Kinda like Spike's "People don't generally use their tongues to say hello... Well... I guess they do but-" Shadowcat67 brought up the fact that maybe Angel thought that the prophecy had to come true with Buffy dying and that's why he didn't want to do CPR, but maybe he was just genuinely confused about being able to help her, like he honestly thought that his breath couldn't help her 'cause he's dead?
But what the hell was the deal in S7 when The First has the Turok-han half-drown Spike?
I just thought that it did that to do something that wouldn't kill him but hurt like a bastard, but you'd think if Spike obviously didn't have to breathe, he just wouldn't breathe through his nose or keep his mouth open. Poor James though.
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And when are the keyboard folks going to have an interrobang key? Sooooo needed!
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Interrobang! ‽ ‽ ‽ :D
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signed,
Techno-moron
p.s. My favorite quote is by Oscar Wilde:
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
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The HTML for it is & #8253;; but take out the space between the & and the # to get ‽
For some computers, you can hold ALT+8253 to get it, but my Mac won't do it. XD
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