S8 #36 "Last Gleaming, Part 1," Summary/Review.

[fenderlove]

I actually went back and read #35 because going into this issue it felt like two separate worlds. I mean, most of Season Eight hasn't made much sense, but this is just... huh. So here I go, writing a review, being absolutely honest and not holding anything back, reviewing as I summarize. I wasn't going to do this but someone dared me to a magical challenge. *glomps at ubi4soft*



When we last left Buffy in #35, she was a bit like her old self. Though she admittedly enjoyed sex with Angel and was satisfied in that regard, she refuses the "easy out" of leaving her friends to fend for themselves by staying with him in Twilight. Even though Angel espouses promises that this is her reward, their reward- they will evolve in Twilight and Ascend. Buffy reminds him that it's never been about her happiness nor him nor even the world- her family is what is most valuable to her. This is Buffy standing up to Giles when he assures her that the only way to save the world is to kill Dawn at the end of Season Five. This is the Buffy we wanted to see all along.

However, what we see in #36 doesn't mesh with where we left off. Buffy is gushing about Angel's wonderfulness... It has a level of cheese that rivals their gooshie scene in Earshot:

Earshot
Angel: Hey... I won't let anything happen to you if I can help it and no matter what I'll love you even if you're covered with slime.

Last Gleaming, Part One
Buffy: *covered in slime* This is the weirdest, bestest, weirdest best day of my life. What you've done for me, I can't describe. I can't pronounce.

Buffy's has gone from telling Angel that she missed him even though he's killed over 200 of her Slayers but that she won't give up her family for him to saying that the same guy who killed her comrades gave her a beautiful gift- he gave up paradise for her. Wait- what? He spent 3/4ths of the last issue, trying to convince Buffy to stay in paradise because they deserved it, because it was meant for them. He didn't give up paradise; Buffy was going to leave his ass there, and he followed her out like a little puppy dog. That's not exactly Angel giving it up for her; he gave it up for himself because he didn't want to be alone (and judging by the voices talking to him, he might have been afraid to stay there by himself).

Also, if Buffy was thanking Angel for giving her the gift of reenforcing her moral standards by forcing her to choose between Heaven and a hellish reality (an idea she toyed with most likely ever since returning from Heaven in Season Six), that would be one thing. However, what she's saying is that Angel is her best fella, the one she would spend the rest of her life with... even though he's responsible for all the turmoil in her life, who manipulated her, beat her Angelus-style, played to all her weak points, KILLED HER PEOPLE, but he's worthy of all her love because he gives amazing sex? What kind of Bizarro Buffy is this?

While Spike is helping to evacuate and save Willow, Xander, and all the others (you know, that thing Buffy left paradise to do), Angel voices his distrust of the fairest vampire in all the land. It might just be my opinion but when you have killed over 200 GOOD GUYS you no longer have a say in who is trustable! Buffy casually says that she doesn't trust Angel. And once again, we're back to teenaged idiot Buffy not grown up smart Buffy. Teenage Buffy = trust isn't important when it's TWU WUV. Grown Up Buffy = trust is key when having a serious mature relationship. At least this Buffy has the practicality to realize that she's not going to kick Spike's altruism in the metaphorical arse.

Angel whines that Spike showing up at just the right moment is "too convenient" which is High-larious considering that Angel's excuse for killing hundreds of young women is basically "the Universe wants it this way." He complains that Spike "has an agenda" ... unlike the agenda Angel had in trying to get Buffy to fuck him while killing all of her people and endangering her life. This is a total lack of self-reflection, even for a vampire, and of irony. Buffy's just happy that Spike didn't show up until after she got to have her vagina filled with enough vampire cum to float the Titanic. Instead of dismissing Angel for his hypocrisy in questioning Spike's motives, Buffy nonchalantly agrees that Spike has an agenda, but that she's the only one he'll admit it to.

Willow thankfully interrupts the idiocy by turning Angel into an adorable frog that makes a POIT noise momentarily (I really wish she'd kept him that way). I think someone's likely mentioned this already, but doesn't Willow have the frog phobia? Minor quibble, but I digress. Buffy says, "You can't blame them," meaning that she's absolved Angel of all guilt by not including herself, and she's also in a way discounting the anger that Willow and the others likely hold.

Buffy hypothesizes that the massive Bangel space-frak released all the demons and that they will target Slayers... which, while likely, is something she pulled out of her arse just like why she needed helicopters and stolen diamonds BEFORE she was ever being attacked by Angel's minions. She tells Angel that she needs him to make up for the "damage;" it's nice to know that the 200 dead Slayers have gone from her Sister Soldiers to "damage," relegated to broken castles and ruined clothing. Angel worries that Buffy will fuck Spike if she gets around him, which just goes to show that Angel trusts just as far as he is trustable.

Buffy: "That's beneath you, baby."

Okay, 1. Angel is not "baby." Angel is centuries old. Spike might be "baby" *cough*inmyspangelfanfic*cough*, but not Angel. And 2. Angel worried that Buffy is boinking Spike is NOTHING NEW. He's done it before with both Riley and Spike, and it should be no surprise he's done it again. It is amazing, however, for a broody guy like Angel to show no remorse for killing hundreds of innocents, but he does worry if Spike's penis comes into contact with Buffy's lady-parts. How about they just have buttsecks since Whedon thinks it's not as magical-twu-wuv-wuv as missionary space-fraks as illustrated in Buffy's vampire sandwich fantasy. At least Angel has a smidgeon of decency to admit he's not mature to rise above petty jealousy, but I feel like I should be expecting more from Angel after all these years. And classy way to reenforce that Spike is still beneath Buffy (literally at times), but Angel is above it all, Whedon.

Angel decides to leave but that he'll find Buffy soon to which she responds "You better." Buffy goes to onboard Spike's ship and instantly walks about like she owns the place, showing little gratitude that their collective asses have been saved by the man that died for her, because she claims he has ulterior motives for saving her this time. Faith is ready to punch Angel to a pulp, but Buffy haughtily proclaims that Angel is out "protecting Slayers" because that really makes up for all the harm he's caused right? What about EVERYONE ELSE protecting Slayers from Angel all this time? Don't they get any consideration from their Pantened Leader who has obviously lost her damn mind... along with any vaginal tightness she retained after boffing Spike for a few months for hours on end?

Spike is busying getting his bug pals to navigate his steampunk ship away from danger. Buffy decides that now is the perfect time to bitch at him. And so, after all these years of people wondering if Buffy knew Spike's alive, what is the Spike and Buffy reunion like? In two word bubbles, we are expected to accept that Buffy callously thanks him for saving the world and beating back ultimate evil with his sacrifice by only acknowledging that he was "crazy studly." In #35, Buffy says "Fuck evolution," and I think this is the theme of Season Eight- let's all do the Time Warp again! It's just a retcon to the left, and then a character assassination to the ri-ri-ri-iii-ight, and the space-frakkin'in'in'in'ing really drives you in-sane-yane-yane-ya-aaa-ane. This is complete and utter de-evolution; I think we're seeing lipstick-thief Buffy from the front steps of Hemery High. "Like, totally! Call me!"

Anyways, she does apologize for not keeping in touch because she's been totally busy like totally leading an army like stuff, totally like. *hair twirl* She proceeds to dictate how Spike will speak to her, which I think is supposed to be funny, but it just makes her look like a demon bitch from hell. Spike bitches right back at her, trying to make her see that she's in no position to be so snarky with him after what she's done- fucking the bad guy with no proof of anything that Angel told her while her friends were in danger and still having the audacity riding her high and mighty horse (and also unleashed 10,000,000 Krakens!). Spike warns her that she shouldn't trust Angel, but she is quick with more snark about "fine, nobody trust anyone! wah wah wah!" However, I think she should lend more credence to Spike's warning due to the fact that he isn't responsible for killing 200 SLAYERS. He's killed 2 and saved dozens... more than once, doesn't balance the scales of the deaths, but at least he didn't actively try to destroy the entire Slayer line and keep Buffy as a transdimensional concubine.

At the beginning of the issue, we learn that Spike is King and Captain of a group of giant buggies. They are being chased in the H.M.S. Steampunk by unknown wankers through glowing space labia. Their pursuers have vanished, but Bug One believes they have "lost much more." They crash the ship into Big Ben. Sorry, Joss, Spike is a patriot, and he's not going to destroy one of his national landmarks for fun. In a pub near Big Ben, Spike reads a newspaper with a convenient set of articles explaining everything that has gone on during his apparent absence- Buffy's viewed as an international terrorist, the "Slayer Jihad" (I just got mental images of a Jeanty-penned Glen Beck drawing all over a chalkboard talking about the Slayers' religious ties), and Harmony is a superstar.

What Spike doesn't know is what has happened to Angel, who has also fallen out of a giant space labia but crashed into the Hollywood sign either before Spike or at the same time because it's Destroy Landmark Day at DarkHorse. Angel laments that he was at war and couldn't save L.A., and he is relieved to see that the L.A. he has landed in is safe. A talking dog appears who reveals that the world has been restored and that Angel has a higher purpose that involves killing. The dog is a dog, but the voice coming from it is a "Power Without a Name" who likes to lick his own dog-balls. Angel is understandably irked by the weirdness of being CHOSEN, which means Angel is now Superman and can fly faster than a speeding bullet and see through five foot thick steel (okay, I made up that last bit but it's probably true). Angel is able to save all the people from Lost, and the Power promises him that Angel will receive a reward much more favorable than a Shanshu. I thought Angel decided a long time ago that rewards are all crap and meaningless? The term "reward" is very subjective in the Buffyverse, and unless you are absolutely clear about who is giving a "reward" you might never have any idea if it's something you actually want. Angel knows this- after all that one day of human horribleness with Buffy and even with the Black Thorn. He tells Spike that there is no reward that will ever absolve them for all they have done- they just have to fight no matter what to stop what evil they can.

The Power, through people and animals, warns Angel that because Buffy unleashed all the Potentials' latent Slayer powers that she has put herself in real danger that all of "her enemies" will come at her at once unless Angel can rally them behind him. He shouldn't trouble himself with the bloodshed that will ensue because he and Buffy will get to be together in their true destiny. To do this, Angel must trick Buffy into focusing on him (and he does this by killing Slayers through his minions and torturing Willow, etc). Her pure anger is what is needed, which apparently wouldn't happen if she was blinded by her TWU WUV for Angel. Actually, if I were Buffy, I think I would be more pissed if I found out the guy I love is plotting behind my back when he should know better at this point because I will always ALWAYS win and kick his fat spotty ass. Also, we're really not shown that anyone was going to come after Buffy until Twilight organized them. The government had her on their radar, but it didn't seem like they were ready to move until Twilight go them mobilized. It's a goddamn gift of the magi of EVIL- Angel doing what he thinks is right when actually he's being manipulated by a mystical Power he knows nothing about into doing exactly what it wants by making him think that it's going to happen anyway.

No one can know that Angel is Twilight. Of course, a good portion of readers guessed early on that Twilight was Angel because... it just couldn't be anyone else. And as if to be the voice of that portion of the audience, Spike watches a single blurry YouTube clip of Twilight and knows that it's Angel. He doesn't guess. He knows.

Back on Spike's ship, Spike announces that Buffy and Angel have created and birthed a universe and abandoned it. Spike warns her that she should be worried about if the higher reality comes toddling after its "mother." Oh, trippy, I just had a flashback to my review for #35- "Thank you, Season Eight, for making the [apocalypse] a big, scary birth metaphor. Way to win one [for] the feminism team! Now let's make a metaphor about Buffy eating the birth-sacks from her demonic offspring brought forth by her inter-dimensional boinking. I dare you." They have yet to have her eat the birth-sacks... YET. Spike declares that all this insanity, "what everyone is looking for" (who was looking for anything? Angel was looking for sex and Twilightland, and Buffy was just looking and hunting down Twilight), comes from "the seed of wonder." DUN-DUN-DUUUUUUUUUN DRAMATIC REVERB!!!1!

And the seed of wonder looks like this:


The seed of wonder is not located in the Cave of Wonders from Aladdin, however, even though it makes about as much sense as anything else. It is in the Hellmouth, "a house of worship swallowed up by the earth over which they built a city..." The Master has the seed and is waiting for them to show up so we can wrap this stupidity up.

Do you remember when Buffy had the nightmare about the big pregnancy metaphor cracked red egg early on in the first or second arc? And how everyone jumped on it like an M. Night Shamallamadingdong "WHATTA TWIST!!1!" clue? Yeah, they were absolutely right because that's the Seed of Wonder. It's a great big pregnancy metaphor that apparently has devolved Buffy's character and made Angel not have a care in the world about anyone but Buffy (not even Connor because, in Allie's opinion, Angel's love for his only begotten son is teeny tiny compared to the EPIC LURVE Angel has for Buffy... I guess Connor would have been better off with Holtz all along if this is really the case).

Spike and Willow really stand out in the issue as voices of reason and normality. Let's get rid of everything but them. I'm not normally a Willow fan, but she is doing all the things that I as a reader feel like doing! Dawn came off cute and not annoying in this issue and I did LOL at her "the air is bugs!" I love the idea of Spike's steampunk ship, but I do not like it in practice. It doesn't fit. The Buffyverse is where aliens are just space demons, and even the hinting of a big spaceship just reeks of Firefly. I just feeling like praying to Our Lady of Perpetual "Shut the Fuck Up, Joss Whedon." There is no way that this is going to be resolved. Ever. It's going to get a clap-trap excuse, negating everyone's guilt, Angel and Buffy will agree that they can never be together *faux sniffle*, and three years worth of comics are down the drain because we'll be right back at the start. You know, at least After the Fall meant something- things happened, things were resolved, things mattered when they wound up unpausing reality and getting out of hell.

shipperx posted some hilarious video-reviews of what was wrong with the Star Wars prequels that accurately describe everything wrong with S8. Rule #2: "The audience is expected to accept too many things that we are and are not told." Thank you, reviewer person, my thoughts exactly.

F@#% Evolution While We De-volve Like Devo and I Delete You Off My TiVo.

Comments

[treadingthedark.livejournal.com]

Applause. Right there with you.
"I guess Connor would have been better off with Holtz all along if this is really the case" Right??

[ubi4soft.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes.

I took a giant blow with Spike/Buffy reunion and well if it doesn't kill you it's just make you stronger applies.

I haven't fully understood how utterly OOC Buffy is till the "Would you have preferred he showed up hours before?" Buffy preferring sex instead of preventing demons invasion! As for "That's beneath you, baby" at the moment I think it just show how beneath everybody Buffy is now.

If #35 was the totally trashing Angel as a character, #36 is doing the same or worst for Buffy.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Poor Connor, shafted by all two of his three dads. I hope dear old Uncle Spike will never abandon him like this.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I hope that my snark was the snark you were looking for. *Jedi hand-motion*

I think that Angel is being painted as a dupe, a rube, a pawn, so he's going to come out of everything in a sympathetic light (or at least that's what DarkHorse will tell us we're SUPPOSED to think), and Buffy's going to be the one that looks like a megalith of stupid.

I'm actually worried for Spike and Willow (and Faith even though she got one line) looking like the only sane people at the moment. The sane people are usually the ones that the crazy-cakes decide to cannibalize first. O_o;;;

[infinitewhale.livejournal.com]

I love the idea of Spike's steampunk ship, but I do not like it in practice.

When I first read it, I thought they'd be going for a Science v God metaphor with those two. Angel believing whatever God told him to versus Spike using equipment and brainpower to figure things out. I thought this would fit in nicely with the fantasy (religion) vs reality (science).

Then Spike rattled off that universe stuff and I don't know what to think.

[mulder200.livejournal.com]

Buffy's just happy that Spike didn't show up until after she got to have her vagina filled with enough vampire cum to float the Titanic.

*snerk* Oh God! You kill me!

Back on Spike's ship, Spike announces that Buffy and Angel have created and birthed a universe and abandoned it. Spike warns her that she should be worried about if the higher reality comes toddling after its "mother."

Wow! It's if having space sex isn't bad enough, they are now dead parents who have unprotected sex. How nice!

No wonder the Universe is pissed off!

[shapinglight]

Great snark. Agree with almost all of it, except for the bit about Spike and Big Ben. I definitely think he would have crashed into it on purpose.

Also, there is no way in hell he's going to be allowed to be the hero here. At some point, that 'we've lost much more' remark of Bug1 will come back to roost and Spike will betray Buffy too.

I'd count on it.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I think I could see a science vs. God metaphor here even with Spike's universe comments. I think his level of snark about "the universe" shows that he doesn't put much stock into it being the be-all/end-all for the answers they need. It would be nice to my Spred heart if Spike feels that he's doing what Fred might do, relying a little more on technology and being a little less caveman and a little more astronaut.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I think we should be glad that Whedon didn't use some sort of pro-choice vs. pro-life metaphor here. *shakes head*

The Twilightverse is now a "prom night dumpster baby," to use a Family Guyian phrase.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I thought about maybe Spike would crash into Big Ben- he's not much for tradition, and he might retaliate against a tourist attraction for fun- but then I thought "The London Eye maybe, but not Big Ben." That's just me though. ^_~

Oh, Spike's going to be lucky to still be "alive" after this. We got one issue where he sounds mostly like himself, and now some will be filled with false hope that everything's going to be okay... but this is a red herring. Spike's either going to be shown to more culpable than Angel somehow ("You didn't stop him in time! This is all your fault!"), or he'll start to believe that Buffy needs to be killed because this kind of crap is going to keep happening because she can't be trusted to make decisions for the sake of the world, or his character will be completely destroyed. Perhaps only then will they kill him out of mercy... and then he and Fred can be together in heaven... and his mom will be there, and she'll forgive him for killing her and assure him that she loved him... and they'll be better off. *sniffle*

[infinitewhale.livejournal.com]

I think his level of snark about "the universe" shows that he doesn't put much stock into it being the be-all

True enough. I really could have lived with out the space hymen phrase, though, and he'll always be associated with that from now on. I thought we were done with the disturbing sexual metaphors in 34.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I think we all could have done without that. So say we all! :D

[sistercuervo.livejournal.com]

Maybe Whedon thought he was making a cute! Dr Who reference with the Big Ben thing. That's the first thing I thought of, honestly. Go ahead, Joss, steal from good shows.
Bangel4eva, twuLurve=Twilight! It must be true, as Whedon said it.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

*gags*

[infinitewhale.livejournal.com]

It sounds unSpikelike to me. I'd see Spike as being a little more crass than phrases like 'nudey shenanigans'. That whole big was a little off, but by comparison with the other two, I guess his dialogue is OK.

[veiriti.livejournal.com]

Excellent review! You have to send it to Scott Allie! LOL

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

Haha! He'd tell people that I was threatening and verbally abusing him personally. Darn those hateful Spike fans! XD

Thanks for reading! :D I wish I could send it to Scott Allie though!

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I think he probably could have been crasser, definitely. I know I would have been. XD

[veiriti.livejournal.com]

You really have to send it to him! it's a brilliant analysis of the issue! :) Lets him to see what the Spike-fans think about the Bangel crappy-fest! LOL

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I'd like for him to see that, for some Spike fans, it has little to do with Bangel or shipping but everything to do with the characterization and plausibility of the story. Honestly, I always thought that if Buffy and Angel were decided to be together in the end, then it should be done well and be believable, and if Bangel is going to be the final frontier, then Buffy and Angel should have a mature and serious relationship where they come to a certain understanding where each other have been in the years since they last were together. There's no relationship in S8; it's just sex and the memories of their star-crossed romance of Buffy's teenaged years (which if you actual count the episodes where they were actually dating and trying to be a couple, only lasted about six months). Sigh. I miss the show.

[veiriti.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I miss the show either... :( But I ever dislike Bangel. I love Angel in his own show and comics with Cordy, but I can't stand him around Buffy... sorry but I've ever seen their relationship as so boring and tedious and now I'm absolutely sick and disguised of Bangel.
I'd love to see Buffy and Spike together again... I'd like to see the true love, the flames between these character as they have been shown in Touched and Chosen...

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I neither a Bangel or a Spuffy. I just want a good story, and if romance is a part of that story and it's done in a believable way allowing for all the growth the characters have had, then I don't care who's paired up with who. There's really only two ships that I would probably root for, but they're NEVER going to happen, so I stick to my fanfic where I can get what I want exactly how I want it because even the show never gave me that. :D

[nmcil12.livejournal.com]

3:32 in the morning and I am having such a good laugh. Thank You -

[nmcil12.livejournal.com]

"Back on Spike's ship, Spike announces that Buffy and Angel have created and birthed a universe and abandoned it. Spike warns her that she should be worried about if the higher reality comes toddling after its "mother."

Wow! It's if having space sex isn't bad enough, they are now dead parents who have unprotected sex. How nice!

No wonder the Universe is pissed off!:\"

This "Mystery Evolution Birthing of a New Universe" is the most preposterous thing ever. And after watching those Dragon Con panel vids with Jeanty and Allie, and the explanation of Angel/Twangel's motivation, becoming Buffy Protection Shield, I only wish that Andrew would take his Captain America Shield, use it like Odd Job's Frisbee and chop off his head once and for all. Do you ever think you would get to the point where all you want is for Angel to be gone?

I hate the idea that Joss Whedon might try to use Spike as the "rage factor" in the resolution for this series, either as the plot twist betrayal or the sacrificial price to be paid. My only hope that this is not going to happen is that Georges Jeanty expressed such a high degree of "WTF" surprise about Issue 39 that Spike would not seem to be the big rage factor. But at this point, I would not be surprised with anything - except that Angel/Twangel would actually have to face some serious consequences for his Love-Shield-Protect Strategy.

Great Review - BTW, after seeing the latest preview image - it seems that Buffy is wearing the same clothing in the issue where she and willow go to destroy that strange demon that plays with time and the guardian. This is the issue where the red seed is first shown. Buffy is given that vision of being badly beaten, she also wears the same top in the "Always Darkest" Dreamscape mini comic by Joss Whedon and Jo Chen. Great many of those characters and text seem to connected in a mirror world conversion to Spike and Buffy - and to Buffy's nightmares. Buffy wears the same clothing in preview image fighting against The Master.

[fenderlove.livejournal.com]

I wish that Stephen Colbert would drop down with his own Captain America shield and fight for Truthiness. XD

Thanks for reading! And excellent catch on the clothing angle! I'm going to have to go back and review some panels! :D