Fenderlove and the Horrible College Flat-mate (and the 3 Unfortunate Sequels)

It's no secret amongst my real-life pals that I've had the worst luck when it comes to roommates and flat-mates. I seem to get stuck with people who are absolutely wretched. Here's some highlights of the four years of hellish roommates I've had.
Freshman Year- Double Occupancy Dorm Room with Private Bathroom
R. was my first and only "room"mate. We lived in a double occupancy room at a small hippie college; I thought I had lucked out- we were the only people on the entire campus with a private bathroom. For the first few weeks it was great, and then R. turned psycho. She was and is the nastiest person I've ever known. She never showered for the first semester until her parents (rich yuppies who were big hippies in their own time before they got their trust-funds and are now conservative big wigs) came to visit. After said shower, there was a dark greasy film in the bathroom floor which she refused to clean. During this rather unpleasant semester, she never wore feminine hygiene products- she just wore skirts all the time and let blood ooze down her legs and onto the carpet (yes, she went to classes this way). She didn't brush her teeth or her hair ever; she walked around the dorm nude and sat on chairs that we all had to share; she pissed in her bed and just let the mattress fester, and she stole food from other people even though she received a $3000 a month allowance. She defecated on the toilet seat (she sat on it backwards because sitting the proper way is conforming to "social norms"), and worst of all expected me to clean it because I was "on scholarship and [her] parents paid full price!" When I refused to clean up her feces, she just left it there. I couldn't use my own bloody bathroom for over a month because of it; finally, one of the other people in the dorm cleaned it up out of pity for me. And to end this part of my story on another R. excrement moment, she video-taped herself going to bathroom and tried to force me to watch it. She stuck the camera in the toilet while she relieved herself, set the video to techno music, and turned the tape in as her final project for a sculpture class (she called it a "life sculpture"). Not only did she receive an A for this "project," she received a grant from the college to do a sculpture for the school grounds (but one not made of human fecal matter). She bought $5000 on dead grass, the kind used on hula skirts, and piled it up in the middle of the campus lawn and let the wind carrying it all over the place. She was praised for her "brilliant and innovative evolving sculpture." The groundskeepers were less thrilled than the art professors. I transferred to a different school.
( Sophomore, Junior, and Senior Years Under the Cut (it doesn't get any prettier though). )

x-posted @ housematehorror

Fenderlove and the Horrible College Flat-mate (and the 3 Unfortunate Sequels)

It's no secret amongst my real-life pals that I've had the worst luck when it comes to roommates and flat-mates. I seem to get stuck with people who are absolutely wretched. Here's some highlights of the four years of hellish roommates I've had.
Freshman Year- Double Occupancy Dorm Room with Private Bathroom
R. was my first and only "room"mate. We lived in a double occupancy room at a small hippie college; I thought I had lucked out- we were the only people on the entire campus with a private bathroom. For the first few weeks it was great, and then R. turned psycho. She was and is the nastiest person I've ever known. She never showered for the first semester until her parents (rich yuppies who were big hippies in their own time before they got their trust-funds and are now conservative big wigs) came to visit. After said shower, there was a dark greasy film in the bathroom floor which she refused to clean. During this rather unpleasant semester, she never wore feminine hygiene products- she just wore skirts all the time and let blood ooze down her legs and onto the carpet (yes, she went to classes this way). She didn't brush her teeth or her hair ever; she walked around the dorm nude and sat on chairs that we all had to share; she pissed in her bed and just let the mattress fester, and she stole food from other people even though she received a $3000 a month allowance. She defecated on the toilet seat (she sat on it backwards because sitting the proper way is conforming to "social norms"), and worst of all expected me to clean it because I was "on scholarship and [her] parents paid full price!" When I refused to clean up her feces, she just left it there. I couldn't use my own bloody bathroom for over a month because of it; finally, one of the other people in the dorm cleaned it up out of pity for me. And to end this part of my story on another R. excrement moment, she video-taped herself going to bathroom and tried to force me to watch it. She stuck the camera in the toilet while she relieved herself, set the video to techno music, and turned the tape in as her final project for a sculpture class (she called it a "life sculpture"). Not only did she receive an A for this "project," she received a grant from the college to do a sculpture for the school grounds (but one not made of human fecal matter). She bought $5000 on dead grass, the kind used on hula skirts, and piled it up in the middle of the campus lawn and let the wind carrying it all over the place. She was praised for her "brilliant and innovative evolving sculpture." The groundskeepers were less thrilled than the art professors. I transferred to a different school.
( Sophomore, Junior, and Senior Years Under the Cut (it doesn't get any prettier though). )

x-posted @ housematehorror