I Just Realized Something...

[fenderlove]

I'm pissed off at Spike. Like really pissed off. *glares at said fictional vampire*



Spike: What'd I do?
Me: You know what you did.
Spike: Oh... Is it because I'm staying for Buffy's own good rather than leaving her for her own good.
Me: Yes. I mean, no! No one should be doing ANYTHING for Buffy's own good. Her poor decision making shouldn't be the scapegoat for your stunted unlife. Don't you have anywhere else to be?
Spike: Well, since Joss Whedon won't acknowledge any of my friends as actual characters, no.
Me: You need your old friends back.
Spike: Tell me about it.
Me: So... when are your testicles gonna re-grow?
Spike: Shut your bloody gob, I'm still fortitude'd in the testicular fashion.
Me: Filthy lies! Come on, oh blonde one, isn't there something you could be doing? Away from Buffy's madness? Far, far away? You could do anything at all, something spectacular, something amazin-
Spike: I always wanted to open up a liquor store called "Redd Hott Pussie Liquors."
Me: O__O;;;
Spike: The logo could be a sassy cat.
Me: You've got problems even I can't deal with.
Spike: I'm really just a high-functioning alcoholic.
Me: Yep. And you're driving me to drink. Look at me. I'm having a conversation with a fictional vampire.
Spike: But it could be worse.
Me: How?
Spike: You could be asking Buffy why she didn't go for Plan B after her black-out party sex.
Me: What? ... Oh... Oh! ARGH! *head-desk*
Spike: And how can you not tell that you had sex with a guy or gal if no condom was apparently used?
Me: My brain... is imploding on itself. Just promise me that you will one day find happiness?
Spike: In the Whedonverse? Silly, silly history major, you of all people should realize that events only occur cyclically rather than happenstance. No one ever learns their lessons, no one ever matures, and, above all, the plot can only devolve and never evolve.
Me: Good God. The Whedonverse is Social Darwinism at its worst, isn't it?
Spike: Now you're going to be thinking about Joss jacking off to Thomas Malthus tonight.
Me: ARGH! Brain bleach stat!
Spike: I personally prefer John Stuart Mill.
Me: *dies*

Comments

[velvetwhip.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

*giggles some more*

*wonders what Nietzsche would have to say about Joss Whedon*


Gabrielle

[menomegirl.livejournal.com]

LMAO!!!!

[rahirah]

John Stuart Mill
Of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy
Got particularly ill,
Plato they say
Could tuck it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle
Was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Decarte was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am!"


Everybody sing!

[gingerwall.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHA. Yes. Thank you.

[joans-journal.livejournal.com]

This is great! Made me laugh.

As for Spike staying around Buffy, well, you know how he is. He's always latched on to the women he loved, made their lives his, their mission his calling. He loves Buffy. Love is not logic or brains, right? It's blood. And Buffy is his blood. They're basically family.

Spike is best at Buffy's side, fighting alongside her and watching her back.

[kidcyclone.livejournal.com]

Spike and Angel are going to open an antiques shop/retro toys and comics and music shop. Angel can handle the actual pricing of things. With his eidetic memory and anal retentiveness, he will be perfect at this. Spike will handle the old records and comics and his obsessive knowledge of music and pop-culture will have a productive outlet.

On Mondays, they will close the shop to do patrolling and demon hunting. Bleach-blonde patrons who have a certain bitchily entitled attitude will receive an automatic 45% markup on all quoted prices.