John Stuart Mill
Of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy
Got particularly ill,
Plato they say
Could tuck it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle
Was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Decarte was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am!"


Everybody sing!